Last Thursday I became a 21 year old. I know, now I get to drink in every country etc. etc. haha. I am still by far the youngest at work, still younger than most of our freinds... Sometimes I feel like th longer I live, the younger I get. My grandpa told me that knowledge is like an island in a big sea of unknown. The more you know, the bigger the island gets. The bigger the island gets, the more contact it has with the sea of unknown... In other words, the more you know, the more you know you don't know.
And that's where I am at. I am coming to realize that one can only put one foot in front of the other. One must have a general direction, but to try to plan too far ahead is (for me anyway) unbelievably stressful and often fruitless. Last year on my birthday, I asked God to invite me to "Come and see". Jesus doesn't tell his disciples where he plans to sleep that night, he just says, "Come and see". There is no long run planning, just trust that being with Jesus is enough.
What am gearing up to say? No big news. The main thing is that I didn't get into the music school. I made the second round and certainly did not embarass myself, but they only took one BA student out of 24. It is disappointing, but I have no feeling that this time of preparation has been wasted. Rather, I learned that I love, love, love music and that I need it to be so significant in my life. I just realized (again) that I am young. It was like they said, "Great! You are musical, you will be fun to have as a student here, but you are in grade 11 and most people go to university after grade 12...".
True. And I am looking forward to "Grade 12" of music school which will entail continued voice lessons, much needed piano lessons, and simply time allowed to love music. I need to confirm this with my teacher, but I intend to try again one year from now when my voice has developed more and my fingers have limbered up a little.
And in the mean-time? My family arrives tomorrow (!!!!!) and Sebastian has a math exam at the end of March. I have asked to have my hours reduced at the bakery so I can enjoy their visit and spend a little more time practicing etc.
Starting in April, I am going to do an International Semester at the university here, which I am allowed to do with permission from my home University. What's crazy (oh RESP companies...) is that if I manage to get credit at UVic for eight courses that I do here (before September 2013), I get between eight and ten thousand dollars. Kind of like a cool job, but it's just studying!
So the next step? Complete two economics international semesters at Uni Freiburg, soak up a lot of music and German... One year from now, give another shot at the music school and see where I am at. Like I said, it's good to have a general direction, but trying the juggle all the unkowns of completing degrees, money etc. etc is a prime recipe for a big head ache.
And I am doing what I love, with people I love in a place that I love... What's not to love?
Peace and all good things,
Janet
